"Move On Cartwrights"

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this weeks episode.

Well, we knew this episode was coming. The "after-previous relationship, but pre-new relationship" episode where both Casey and Rusty have to deal with the fallout from last season. Casey came out looking a bit better than Rusty. In classic freshman form, his dating techniques were nail-biting to watch.

I continue to love watching the friendship between Dale and Rusty develop. And also we were introduced to a new character who maybe the new love interest for Rusty. I have to admit, I'd love to see Tina sitting through a Greek mixer and see what happens.

But let's look at the standings!







-Calls Casey on her personal issue with Omega Chi's. +2
-Invite Casey to help her fondle swimmers. Enjoyed so much, Casey is ready for lap two of the massage swim-athalon. +2
-Knows how to order around guys when she needs to. Get's Calvin to speak on
behalf of ZBZs. +2
-Single-handedly gets mixer together even with Casey kicking all the way there. Why wasn't Ashleigh president? +5


Net Change: +11
Sum: 117







-Convinces Omega Chi's to party with Zeta Beta's again. +3

Net Change:+3
Sum: 107







-Cappie's gets the flu. -2
-And pink eye. -2
-Does manage to sport that eyepatch pretty well. Maybe a permanent fixture? All he needs is a parrot in the next episode... +1
-Clearly drives everyone crazy when he's sick. -3
-Encounter with Scandanavian Helga manages to cure him up. Literally scared him well. +2
-Suggests threesome with Casey and Rebecca. Greek Fan Fiction websites suddenly overflowing with new content. +1

Net Change: -3
Sum: 109







-Manages to score Lambda Sig formal invites. Nothing like pimpin' out the ladies to rise up the social ladder. +1
-Called “Lizzy” after boardgame night suggestion. -2
-Given party patrol duty to keep her out of trouble. -2
-But gets her in more trouble. Gets snippy with Evan over the whole "sleeping with my little" thing and the whole "making out with Cappie" thing. -3
-Kind of gets the better of the argument. +1
-Showcases bizarre skill at being able to sleeps with makeup on without smearing. +2
-Takes Frannie off probation. +4

Net Change: -1
Sum: 86








-Commits ultimate sin in scouting chicks: the point. -3
-Asks out Emma for Rusty, revealing why he was such a hot commodity
on middle school campuses. +1
-Voted “Mostly likely to become impure” by his Purity Pledge group. +3
-Has "no control over his charisma." +1
-Goes for handhold with Tina, after hearing equally abrasive opinions. Shot down. -2
-Invites Tina into USAG. +2
-Tina tries to takeover USAG. -4


Net Change: -2
Sum: 97







-Loses out in vote to shut out ZBZ. -3
-Party patrol duty. -2
-With Casey. Argument ensues. Can't we all just get along? -3
-New sleeping buddy: whiskey bottle. J&B? Jack? Early Times? I just can't tell. +2
-Drunken kiss with Frannie. Not nearly as big a deal as they made it look in the season previews. -3
-Shot down for even drunken kiss! Can't a guy get a little love? -2
-Finally gets his game on, but just in time for Casey to be completely over him. Timing is not Evan's strong suit. And put on your frikin' shoes before you go outside, man. There was a party last night! You could cut your foot on something. -5


Net Change: -16
Sum: 78








-Secret meeting with Ashleigh. These behind-the-scenes manipulations are what we hated about her in the first place. -3
-Turns down Evan advance. +2

Net Change: -1
Sum: 103








-Obviously, orders from Halloween outfit catalog. First Nancy Drew in the library, now hot nurse in a frat hospital! +2
-Not doing so well with nurse duty. $200 can't even buy a replacement male nurse. -3
-Sent Helga to Cappie. +1
-Response to Cappie's threesome idea: “Who says you’re invited?” +3


Net Change: +3
Sum: 110







-Watches girls like the serial killer in Silence of the Lambs. "It closes it's book and takes it's last sip of coffee." -1
-Asks Dale to double date with him. Horrible idea, but it's an experience I for one wouldn't miss. +1
-Describes Moby Dick as “long and a little stiff.” Clearly, attended Michael Scott school of literature. -3
-Disastrous date. Dale even made more advances than he did? Seriously? Dale? Seriously?-5
-But gets second chance to have another disastrous date. +2
-Writes stalker-style message on whiteboard. -2
-With an indelible ink -3
-Rips off whiteboard off door. -3
-Replaces it whiteboard with another, includes a corkboard, push pins, coffee, music questionnaire and CD. Possibly overkill. -3
-Sends care package that includes teddy bear. -2
-Shut down by Emma. -2
-Has weird connection with Tina. Aha, I forgot that Rusty likes socially awkward girls who want to bring down the Greek system. +3


Net Change: -17
Sum: 69


Whoa! It finally happened! Cappie lost his first place standing and the girls are now on top (no suggestive puns intended). Ashleigh had huge gains this week as did Rebecca. Meanwhile, Evan plummeted toward the bottom of the list after getting into such a snippy fight in the middle of a mixer. But by far the biggest showing was Rusty who showcased some of those famous freshman moves, we've waited all season to see.

Next week, we look to have the parents on campus! Expect shakeups in the Rebecca/Cappie relationship and probably in the Casey/Rusty relationship as well (not a romantic relationship despite the way Rusty whistles at his sister. This isn't a trailer park). It looks as though Dale's family will be staying in the dorms so it'll be interesting to see if they do Bible study together before bed.

Ashleigh (117)+11
Rebecca (110)+3
Cappie (109)-3
Calvin (107)+3
Beaver (105)+2
Frannie (103)-1
Dale (97)-2
Casey (86)-1
Evan (78)-16
Rusty (69)-17

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

"Freshman Daze"

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this weeks episode.

I can honestly say this was my favorite Greek thus far. It had all the humor (the origin of Beaver's name) and great character interaction that we've come to expect from the show. This episode put new light to the characters by showing them in the past. We got to see an insecure Evan "Bing" Chambers, a deadbeat Cappie, a caring Frannie and a caveman Beaver. Clearly, the writers realized that Cappie was too high in the Greekvivor standings and needed to knock him down a peg...

But let's look at the standings!







-"Hotmanistan" boyfriend caught stealing from sponsor family. Still more promising than Jason or Travis. -2
-Admitted to using Friendster. -1

Net Change: -3
Sum: 106







-Stuck with sober pledge duty. -2
-Manages to get uncomfortable laugh with plea for gay companionship. +3

Net Change:+1
Sum: 104







-Stole Omega Chi paddle on first visit. +1
-Downs entire bottle of booze at KTT rush party. Achieves celebrity status. +3
-Notes sexy alliteration in Casey's name. Solid pickup line. +1
-Zoomed Evan at rush party. He's your roommate, man, he can make life unpleasant for you. -2
-Really rockin' that karaoke. +1
-Ignores plea for party escape (and presumptive makeout session?) in favor of karaoke. -1
-Stands up Casey in favor of video games with Joe and Beaver. -5
-Throws first punch at ball. Starts brawl. Breaks table. Destroys delicate table dressings. -3
-Mans up. Gets the suit going for Rebecca. +1



Net Change: -4
Sum: 112







-Showcases ability to turn down tasty deserts during Rush. Possible future working with Dunkin' Donuts? +2
-Turns down body shots with Cappie. Showcases critical thinking skills. +3
-Chooses the boy who offers body shots over the boy who fetched her beers. -4
-Coins "Three Musketeers" nickname -2
-Shoots down Dobblers invitation by Frannie. -2
-Evan buddies her back to the house after Cappie Karaoke Night. All kinds of ghouls surround Dobblers (since it's the only bar in town). He's not really much defense as we see later in the episode, but he'll do. +2
-Misses Cappie song dedication by a single beer. -1
-Played Florence Nightengale to Evan. +3
-Invites Frannie to be party. New "Three Musketeers" initiated. (Or perhaps "Lonesome Threesome?") +1

Net Change: +2
Sum: 87








-U-SAG ball includes line dancing and “subtle proselytizing” +1
-Physically assaults Catholic convert -3
-Has sweet orange suit straight out of Napoleon Dynamite. +3


Net Change: +1
Sum: 99







-Attempted dirt mustache, trucker hat homeless guy look. -2
-Supplied beer for roomie. +1
-Talked Cappie into rushing. +1
-Pledged Kappa Tau. +1
-Zoomed by Cappie, loses Casey. -4
-Named “Bing” as pledge. Unfortunately no connection to Chandler. -2
-Part of a package deal with Cappie. Joe was pretty hardcore on him
in that scene. -2
-Shaves mustache, loses trucker hat. +2
-Walks Casey home following Cappie Karaoke Night. +2
-Steals her from Cappie as a result of handy, dry-cleaned suit. +2
-Get's pounded at Greek ball. Showcases "face-to-fist"
martial arts technique. -2
-On receiving end of Casey nursing. Sometimes it pays to be a sucky fighter. +4
-Let's Casey have glass of champagne. More gentlemanly than previous, castrating encounter at the Greek festival. +2

Net Change: +3
Sum: 94








-Auditioning for “Go Casey" cheer squad. -1
-Receiving end of Rebecca Logan crack. You wanted her in ZBZ remember? -2
-Quality vs. quantity speech at the laundromat strangely inspiring. +2
-Sappy speech to Casey at Big Sis-Little Sis introduction.
Nary a dry eye at ZBZ. +3
-Semi-pathetic invitation to two-for-one night at Dobblers shot down by Casey--are there no other bars in town? -2
-Takes part in lame Grey's Anatomy ripoff.
More entertaining than the actual show. +3
-Knows how to order around her date. +1
-Scares hell out of Beaver AND Joe. +2
-Lacks any ability to do timely laundry load.
Takes several hours to do laundry. -3
-...But manages to dress and get made up in five minutes!
Decent trade-off +3

Net Change: +6
Sum: 104








-Shows solidarity with Casey. "Beats our last president" crack to Frannie +2
-Manages to convince Cappie to dress up. He actually looks kind of weird in a suit, but it's the thought that counts. +2

Net Change: +4
Sum: 107







-Long hair evidence Evan Chambers' personal stylist. Caveman resemblance apparent. +1
-Earned nickname by nawing on table leg. +4
-Scared by Frannie. -3



Net Change: +2
Sum: 105








-Threatened with return of a “bacon grease” diet. -1
-Awkward semi-poetic conversation with Calvin. "Chillin like a Villain" -3
-Uses buoyant modifiers in search engine +3

Net Change: -1
Sum: 86


This week served to even things up a bit. At the top and bottom, there was little movement, but in the middle range our Greekvivors leapfrogged left and right. Most notably, Rebecca shot up to #2 while Cappie's hold on a first place lead continued to waver. Next week, look for a more Rusty/Dale centric episode that promises plenty of awkward freshman moments. Here are the standings:

Cappie (112)-4
Rebecca (107)+4
Ashleigh (106)-3
Beaver (105)+2
Calvin (104)+1
Frannie (104)+6
Dale (99)+1
Evan (94)+3
Casey (87)+2
Rusty (86)-1

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

Tales from Palm Beach: Leader's Meeting

At the beginning of each semester, I hold a leader's meeting for the youth group. Each meeting, I produce an itinerary so they can see physically what things will change and what things we will alter. I have become renowned at the youth group for producing materials which coast the line of professionalism.

At normal youth group, the title for such an itinerary would be "Leader's Meeting 4/4/06" or perhaps, in a more fun team "Leader's Huddle 4/4/06"

At my youth group? "Pimp our Ride 4/4/06"

"War and Peace"

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this week's episode.

All in all this was a pretty decent episode. The war and peace theme was nicely carried throughout. The writers seem to like to dangle media references in their work (note the numerous uses of Animal Farm: Frannie as the leader gone bad, several references to characters undergoing change, and of course, the KTG's creating an actual animal farm in the Omega Chi house). Also I might be the only person in the world who actually read "War and Peace," but one of the lessons was that peace could be just as dangerous as war. So there is peace between the fraternities, but what will it look like?

This was actually a bit of a Lizzy-centric episode, but of course now Lizzy is gone! The writers did a good job of developing her character, so I wouldn't be surprised if see her in a few cameos here and there.

Let's look at the points!










-Gets put on a guilt trip by Jason, Psi Phi Pi social chair, for trying to get out of mixer. -2
-Picked up by social chair. +1
-...but new guy is the same as the old guy -2
-Confronts Jason in bathroom to break up with him. +5
-Takes a gander at his goose in order to get out of mixer. +2

Net Change:+4
Sum: 109







-Tries to warn Rusty of dangers of walking into an enemy fraternity. +1
-Doesn't stand up for buddy while he's being duct-taped to a wall. -5

Net Change: -4
Sum: 103








-Runs successful recon of Omega Chi family photo. +2
-Totally working that bathrobe. +1
-Makeout session with cow...awkwardly reminiscent of times with Casey -2

Net Change: +2
Sum: 91







-Arranges mixer for the girls. +1
-With Psi Phi Pi's...yikes -2
-According to Casey, she is “So freakin perky and nice.” Not the worst compliment she could be given. +1
-Sees through Casey's "Get Rid of Lizzy" Plan. +1
-Forces Casey to forgive Frannie in order to get their independence. -1
-Uses gavel in mediation. Where'd she get that thing? Do they sell those on eBay? -1
-Locates friggin-sweet Nightstand. That would be a great place to put her gavel at night. +1
-Models Mary Poppins: leaves to go where she's needed...carrying an umbrella. +2
-Umbrella doesn't allow her to fly. -3
-Steps off show just when Greekvivor managed to make her a banner! -37

Net Change: -38
Sum: N/A







-Steal Omega Chi family picture in order to display art skills, make war +2
-Speaks in southern accent and chews gum while manning
military maneuvers. +1
-Utilizes "Home Alone" skills with masterful use of
marbles and bad-guy bait. +1
-Suffers ambush, loses picture. -2
-Shuts down Rusty during his "Can't We All Just Get Along" speech. -1
-Cup of coffee reminds him of awakward Sumatra experience. Thinks it's in Africa. Apparently, missed World Geography class in 10th Grade. -1
-Bestows nickname, “Evan Longoria” +1



Net Change: +1
Sum: 116








-Volunteers for blind folks. She may be two-faced, but at least she's not sleeping with minors. +2
-Has enough volunteer hours to put them in the lead for the Philanthropy Cup. Need only find blind guys under the age of 17 and Casey will clinch the rest. +1
-Welcomed back to ZBZ in a little black dress/séance-hybrid ceremony. +1
-Forgets about good old ZBZ Rule 57Q. Can't live in the house while on probation. -3
-But manages to remember ZBZ Rule 60...will be back in the house within three months. +1

Net Change:+2
Sum:98








-Four episodes later: Finally gets around to asking what they need to do to re-earn their independance -2
-Violation during Frannie mediation. Forgets "I feel" rule. -1
-Successfully points out that Ashleigh dates dominating, self-absorbed men. Actually plays the part of a friend for once. +2
-Knock down, drag out confrontation with Frannie seems to go in her favor +2
-Reads through that huge freakin' ZBZ Bible in order to keep Frannie out of the ZBZ house. Pulls the old "Rule 57 Q" trick. +5

Net Change: +5
Sum: 85








-Ordered pizza during war manuevers -2
-Smeared mayonnaise on Omega Chi pledge's face +1


Net Change: -1
Sum: 103







-Reading Animal Farm while crossing campus. That's not the kind of material that will help you get girls anytime soon, but it's a pretty good book. +1
-Doesn’t pound Calvin with balloon. Something tells me he's going to wish he had. -1
-Puts together a solid anti-war argument. Where was this guy when we went to War in Iraq? +2
-Steps inside Omega Chi alone to further anti-war cause. Effectively weaves the lessons of Animal Farm into his arguement. +2
-Suffers the Pearl Harbor of the Cyprus Rhodes War -- duct taped to wall. That's serious stuff man. You can't sleep like that. Or go to class. Or go to the bathroom. Ick. -3
-Gets snippy with Calvin over the whole "getting-duct-tapped-to-the-wall" thing. -1
-Plans counter counterattack, utilizing the deepest message of Animal Farm: "Four legs good, two legs bad." Animals penetrate the Omega Chi fortress. +3


Net Change: +3
Sum: 87

Cappies lead is looking smaller each week as Ashleigh climbs her way toward the top. Calvin, Beaver and Rebecca are tied for third. Beaver is kind of the surprise candidate. He's only appeared for a minute or two each episode, but each time he manages to clinch a point or two. He's managed to slowly rise up the standings, and only lost a point this week. I'm beginning to see a pattern with the episodes; it seems like each week, one or two of the characters go on sabatical from the show. (I think I liked Frannie and Evan better when I didn't see them). Here are the standings:


Cappie (116)+1
Ashleigh (109)+4
Calvin (103)-4
Beaver (103)-1
Rebecca (103)N/A
Dale (98)N/A
Frannie (98) +2
Evan (91)+1
Rusty (87)+3
Casey (85)+5

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

"Highway to the Discomfort Zone"

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this week's episode.

I have to admit this is my favorite Greek episode so far this season. The writer's employed masterful use of their Top Gun analogy (evidenced by the title "Highway to the Discomfort Zone"). The episode obviously revolved around finding your wingman. Rebecca gained Cappie as her wingman, while Rusty had to earn the trust of his pledges and Dale got his friendship with Calvin off on a healthier path. But enough talk let's look at the points!









-Masterful use of pouty lip to score wingman. +1
-Calls Casey "Goose" in Top Gun analogy. Can we expect a grizzly Casey Cartwright death in future episodes? +1
-Shops at Forever 21. Cool store. I don't shop there of course, but the clothes look pretty cool. +1
-New guy a step up from Brown University doush. Dating foreign from Hotmanistan +3
-...who wears fannie packs -1

Net Change:+5
Sum: 105







-Becomes a purity pledge member: "So you get together every week, talk about your feelings and don't have sex with women? I'm in." +2
-Bestows gay scare on Dale. +1
-Promises length conversation on subject of Communist flag. Next topic: "Hallelujah" chorus for morning alarm. +1



Net Change:+4
Sum: 107







-Get's date with Rebecca. Could consist of skinny dippying with pirhana, but otherwise a good time. +1
-Sees through the "Let's Go Public" plea from Rebecca. Puts spy skills to good use. +1
-Christmas lights still up at KTT. This isn't a trailer park, Cap. Get one of those pledges up on a ladder. -1
-Bestows ice-breaker for conversation: YouTube video where cat sucks man nipples. +2


Net Change: +3
Sum: 115







-Plea for non-enemy treaty given cold reception by Rebecca. -2
-Automatically assumes Cappie is asking her out and turns him down. Casey's never been accused of modesty. -4
-Badly managed freakout when Cappie drops news about Rebecca. -4
-Bestows excuse: "I have to watch 'To Catch a Predator.'" It is new, you have to admit. +1
-To Rusty: "Let's just skip to the tender moment." Writers beginning to catch onto their own formulaic attempts for warm-and-fuzzies. -1
-Calls Rusty "drama queen." You're on ABC Family. There's supposed to be drama. -1
-Reminds Rusty of his lack of High School popularity. Casey has also never been accused of tact. -1
-Suggests Rusty make a homemade gift for his fraternity brothers. -1
-Squirts Rebecca in the face with water hose. +1
-Scores date night with cute vet. +5
-...but uses him to get back at Cappie -5
-...and he's 16. Casey may soon appear on an episode of "To Catch a Predator" -5
-Threatens Rebecca with paign of death should she take advantage of Cappie. +3
Net Change: -15
Sum: 80








-Knits. Possible increase of hand-eye coordination which is important for football...er..basketball...er...baseball...well, I suppose it will come in handy for video games. +1
-Invites Calvin into the "warm embrace of hetrosexuality." Provides stunning sales job for hetrosexuality which includes prevention from eternal damnation, lifelong happiness and the chance to stop sniffing rotten banana peels. He should do door-to-door. +1
-Unintentially drops as many insults as you can on a human being. Evan should be taking lessons from you. -5
-Has three pop-up blockers. You can't be to safe these days. +1
-Tries to remove "gay" from his room. -2
-Likes Tim McGraw. +1
-Accepts Calvin's lifestyle. +4



Net Change: 0
Sum: 98







-Doesn't want to be "pruned" by Casey. I don't blame you, that's like playing knuckles with Edward Scissorhands. -1
-Gets squirted in face by water hose. -1
-ID gets turned down. Even Jonah Sweet Sixteen had a fake ID Rebecca. -1



Net Change: -3
Sum: 103







-First official consumer of the KTT Swingaling +5
-Crashes out -4
-Bravely tests KTT beer slime. +1

Net Change: +2
Sum: 104







-Rushes out of Pledge Cage to join pledge handbreak. Kind of pathetic. -1
-Suggests KTT video game. +1
-Missed pledge outing due to Jen K crisis. -1
-Put between helping pledges and loyalty to Cappie. -3
-Helped by Grandbig guru who lives inside Mt. Vesuvius +1
-Get's compliment on well-installed atmospheric stabalizer. +1
-Creates Kappa Tau Tetris overnight. +3
-Shot down by other pledges. -2
-Works with pledges to create Kappa Tau slime brewery. +3
-Scores IHOP pancake run with the other pledges. +1
-Creppy "Nice Taillights" comment to Casey. Will more than likely require years on the couch. -5
-Finally, achieves "tender moment." Assures Casey that he will be there for her. +3


Net Change: +1
Sum: 84

Wow, Casey really plummeted this episode, but what can you expect if you sleep with a minor? Calvin and Ashleigh have risen up the standings and within striking distance of first, while Rusty stalled his descent, perhaps in awe of Casey's Britney Spears style decay. No showings of Evan or Frannie this week. (I debated giving Evan a point just for not coming on set). But next week look for Lizzie to be added, and perhaps we'll even get to see some of the characters we missed this week. See you next week!

Standings:

Cappie (115)+3
Calvin (107)+4
Ashleigh (105)+5
Beaver (104)+2
Rebecca (103)-3
Dale (98)0
Frannie (96) N/A
Evan (90) N/A
Rusty(84)+4
Casey (80)-15

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

Ten Coolest Movie Scenes: Terminator Night Club scene

#8 Shootout in the '80s Night Club

In action movies, there's some unspoken agreement that it would just be friggin' awesome to bust a cap in the middle of a night club (see Collateral, Point Blank, etc.). In this classic scene, we have Sarah Conner (played by Linda Hamilton with crazy 80s hair)being hunted down by two people from the future: Kyle "Sent-to-protect-you" Reese and the Governator robot who's out to kill her.

We learn from this scene, that if a gun battle were to break out, the least fashionable are the first to go. If you watch the video, you'll note that several innocent bystanders are killed. One is a lady who doesn't look like she has any business in a nightclub with a Lois Lane khaki jacket and regular pair of jeans. Note that the guys with the white jacket and spaghetti tie gets blasted first. "Dude, that outfit is so 1978, eat lead."

Tales from Palm Beach: Christmas Program

Over the years, I've amassed a certain amount of embarrassing knowledge working with some kids on Palm Beach:

One Christmas, I went to one of the local churches and was helping the kids get dressed for the year's Christmas Pageant. As I walked out toward the youth building, a group of five girls come screaming out the door. I stepped past them and standing in the lobby was a second-grader named Jeff, with an awkward "I-don't-know-why-those-girls-are-screaming" smile on face.

So I said, "Jeff, what did you do?"
"Well," he said indignantly. "I told them I wasn't wearing any underwear and they didn't believe me..."

Hmph. I had to encourage him, that, for the rest of the Christmas program, he should probably keep his pants on.