Tales from DC: The Best Quote Ever

My boss said something yesterday that I have promised to pester him with for his entire life. Thus I need to share it in this hallowed space.

Wait. That wasn't enough buildup. This is quite possibly the greatest quote I have ever heard my boss give in front of a student. If tomorrow, peace rained over all the earth, this quote would possibly still be the best news of the week. In the midst of a talk about Christian fundamentalism, he dropped this douzey.

"The Scofield Reference Bible is the Kama Sutra of Fundamentalism."

When he said it, I stopped him with a general "What??!"

He looked at me straight faced "It's REAL important."

GopherLink! Star Wars III: Backstroke of the West! Some misleading Chinese captions here.

GopherLink! Jon Stewart the most trusted man in America? Read the New York Times piece Read more here.

RandoMusing: Last night, I watched Blades of Glory. Only a fool would assume that the title insinuated a mix between a Wesley Snipes vampire movie and a civil war epic...but I think it would have been a better movie. Figure skating?

I did continue to hold out hope that the South would rise again in the middle of a competition. Or that vampires would come out of their hiding places in the skating rink. Alas. See the Ninja interview here.

Hollywood Still Trying to Get Religion

It's hard to forget the wild Christian rage of 2004.

We had a double-dose of Jesus in pop-culture that year: The Passion of the Christ released by famous sometimes-glorious-sometimes-fallen star Mel Gibson, and the hip-gnostic fiction book Da Vinci Code. Suddenly, Christianity was on the news, on magazine covers.

Also in November of that year, evangelicals turned out in record numbers to re-elect President George W. Bush. They voted for him in such a dramatic percentage that it literally turned the tide of the election.

I picture the executives in Hollywood scratching their head after the success folks had marketing to what I'll call the God Crowd--perhaps final realizing that more than half of America actually believes that stuff. Since then, there have been marked attempts to tap the God Crowd. Not always just to make more money, but at times, perhaps  to be fair-and-balanced.

As a student of this sort of this, I try to keep up with it. Here are some notable recent attempts:

- The Television Show "Greek" on ABC Family--The key is the depiction of the character Dale, who has no problem evangelizing Greek fraternities and then telling his Greek roommate, "I'm saving your peeps from eternal damnation." There are times when Dale is made to fit a very unfair stereotype (besides being an evangelical, he has a confederate flag, plays in a Christian band, and is depicted as a pretty big nerd). But there is an episode in particular where the main character has no one else to go to and Dale opens his arms to him.

ABC Family appears to be trying to make attempts to reach the God Crowd with this show. Since ABC Family is a subsidiary of Disney, you can guess which of Dale's personal beliefs they make fun of: his beliefs about homosexuality, pre-marital sex, drinking, etc. Disney of course is well known for a more "Christianity as Americana" belief system (read Mark Pinsky's wonderful book "The Gospel According to Disney", if you want to get a sense of Disney's God Talk).


- The Television Show "Bones" on FOX-- I've become used to the crime drama formula: religious = crazy. If a priest shows up on a crime drama, 10 to 1 it's because he killed, raped, or abetted one of the above. But the stone cold FBI agent Seeley Booth in "Bones" is a devout Roman Catholic. Several episodes have ended with him sitting in a Church, processing the episode's new crazy occurrence. Not only that, but his faith is depicted in a positive way. His partner, the all-science, all the time Temperance Brennan, actually is the one who comes across as narrow-minded when she attempts to attack him for his faith.

Oh and by the way, the gratuitous episode with the priest as a suspect? For once, the priest didn't do it.


-"Henry Poole is Here" --Released this  weekend, this Luke Wilson redemptive movie tells the story of a man who has a miraculous Jesus stain appear in his house. It begins to shake up the neighborhood and perhaps his own faith. This is definitely an attempt at the God Crowd but has a distinct chance of coming across as too preachy. Check out a review here.

-"Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"-- Another blockbuster Walden Media Narnia movie. This one seems like a given after the success of the "Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe." In this case, all the writers really had to do in order to please the God Crowd was be true to the book. They mostly succeeded, although they felt the need to add some steamy moments between Susan and Caspian as well as some extra battles that weren't really in the book. In all fairness, this was probably the hardest in the series to make into a movie because it deals less action, and deals more narrative on the big questions of faith.

-The Television Show "Secret Life of an American Teenager" on ABC Family-- Centered around the story of a 15-year-old who gets pregnant, the story is loaded with God talk. One of the two main families is evangelical. Two of the main characters attend Church together and at times try to invite other characters to events. Grace is the key character to watch in this show and she's depicted far more fairly than Dale in "Greek." She makes decisions we don't all agree with but comes across as generally caring and loving as well. This has been at the top of the iTunes "most downloaded" list ever since released as well. It will be interesting to see how this show progresses.

The National Enquirer and the future of journalism

When the story broke last week that Sen. John Edwards admitted an affair with filmmaker Rielle Hunter, the effects were more far-reaching than just his own political career. This case study proved once and for all that traditional media had lost their hold over other forms of media.

From the start, the Edwards scandal has belonged entirely to the alternative and new media. The tabloid National Enquirer has done all the significant reporting on it -- reporting that turns out to be largely correct -- and bloggers and online commentators have refused to let the story sputter into oblivion.

There was a time when tabloids could run stories about illegitimate children, naughty affairs, etc. and we would all just giggle and flip through them while waiting at a grocery checkout counter. But what happens when they report the news that a biased media is unwilling to report? I have speculated that in an age where blossoming reporters don't want to simply report, they want to opine, we're returning to the pre-penny press days where media was largely funded by political parties. To get the truth you had to read several newspapers. Are we looking at a future age where people will need to read a New York Post, New York Daily News...and the National Enquirer?

You know it's bad when only the tabloid paper is willing to look pass their own bias to report on something worthy of report.
I rarely find myself siding with Bill O'Reilly, but I think he had a legitimate point when he said last Monday: "I do know it were Mitt Romney instead of John Edwards, this would be on the front page of the New York Times."

Howard Kurtz, at the Washington Post, disagrees with me:

I don't think the party favoritism charge holds up. Yes, the media went hard after two Republican senators, Larry Craig (who pleaded guilty in that bathroom incident) and David Vitter (who admitted calling an escort service). But they also pounced on New York's Democratic then-governor, Eliot Spitzer (whose taste in prostitutes was revealed by the New York Times), and, famously, Bill Clinton (whose Monica Lewinsky mess was disclosed by The Post and hotly pursued by Newsweek).

The Elizabeth Edwards factor cannot be underestimated. The enormous public sympathy for a woman who campaigned for her husband, even as she battled an incurable form of cancer, extended to many of the reporters who followed and interviewed her on the trail. The emotional high point of the Edwards campaign came last year, when he and Elizabeth held a news conference to announce that her cancer had returned, but that he would not leave the race.

But as Tim Rutten at the Los Angeles Times noted, there were reasons to look past our sympathy for Elizabeth Edwards:

First, it was less than unlikely that Elizabeth Edwards was unaware of the allegations. (She says now she knew of the affair in 2006.) Second, Edwards' name has surfaced as a possible running mate for Barack Obama and as a possible attorney general or Supreme Court nominee -- posts in which character and candor matter. Finally, throughout his political career, Edwards has made his marriage a centerpiece of his campaigns.

Rutten goes on to describe Edwards' campaign reporters as "sheep...who meekly accepted Edwards' categorical dismissal of the Enquirer's allegations." There I disagree with Rutten. Several sources have told me they knew about the story but were disuaded by editors. It's easy to forget that reporters are people too. They have bills to pay, mouths to feed and bosses to answer to if they want to do the manage the first two.

Question raised: Does this place America in a position where the only news source willing to go after a sensitive story is the organization that usually handles Britney Spear's latest outburst of crazy?

Another Five Things I've Learned About DC

Two months in D.C. and still alive. After reflecting on a previous post, "Five Things I've Learned About DC," I found myself wishing there were things I'd included. Some point soon, I'm sure to run out of things to learn. But for now, here are five more lessons from D.C.

(5) Visiting the monuments is like going to war- On my first attempt to bring family to see the touristy sights like the Capitol building, the White House, etc. I realized why I don't go by myself. A mad house isn't a fair way to describe it because everyone else is trying to get out of a mad house. But here, everyone wants to stay and take pictures, but you're the lone soul trying to escape. Plan to duck, stop and hide to avoid getting in the way of pictures. On one side of you are smiling folks, waiting for a camera shutter and on the other side are people with cameras. Both will kill you if you get in between them. Safest bet to get through the gauntlet? I vote for a Jack Bauer-esque shoulder roll.


(4) Churches are pretty polarized- Do you like extremely progressive churches? You're in luck. Do you like extremely conservative churches? You're also in luck. Are you one of the 30-40 percent of Americans in the middle? You're in trouble. All those divisions you read about in the paper are here. Presbyterian PCA Churches vs. Presbyterian USA Churches. American Baptist Churches vs. Southern Baptist Churches. Heck we've even got an African-American Catholic Church in town.

(3) The 42 bus only goes to cool places- There's really not a whole lot more to say about it. I've ridden many buses, but every time I get on the 42 bus, I end up in places often considered "hip." Adam's Morgan, DuPont Circle, Mt. Pleasant--all of them are pretty cool. Word to the wise: those transfers you get on the bus are only for other buses. If you try to use them in the metro, people will laugh at you.


(2) Customer service is non-existent- Needless to say, customer service issues are everywhere, but I can honestly say, I've never noticed it more than here in D.C. (And I've heard people say that it's worse in New York City. Yes, you're right: the seventh circle of hell is worse than the sixth.) At local coffee shop in Mt. Pleasant, I ordered some breakfast pastries. Twenty minutes passed. Folks came and went with coffee and pastries. Eventually, I went to the counter and asked about it. "Oh, we must have given it away." There was no "sorry" or "we'll get another one." That was the end of the story. When I did ask if I could get another to replace it, the lady sighed and looked at the ceiling to make sure I realized that I was really putting her out. If I was more of a jerk, I would have reminded her that I'd already paid her for the pastry, I just wanted the pleasure of eating it.

(1) Even the homeless have blogs- I've known that DC was a blog-happy community, but I never knew how blog-happy. Anyone who walks the route from Union Station to Capitol Hill probably knows Peter Bis. He's one of the biggest celebrities of Capitol Hill--his home is the street corner in front of the Congressional Exxon gas station on Massachusetts Ave. Pete shouts out good mornings to folks going to work and on Thursdays at 5 p.m., he reminds commuters "one more day." In my conversation with him, he shared that the CIA was after him for an operation he bungled 10 years ago. In that same conversation, he encouraged me to check out his blog. Please feel free to check it out as long as you remember that the viewpoints expressed there are not necessarily those of WJC or of the CCCU. It gave me some fascinating reading and led me to information about the "reptile-enhanced capabilities" of Sen. Hillary Clinton and Chief Justice John Roberts.

GopherLink! Tennessee man opens fire on progressive church, blames their values. Read more here.

Greatest Quotes from "The Office"

The new season of The Office is set to run on Sept. 25th. That seems to me far too distant. In order to hold myself over, here are some Office Quotes:

-Michael Scott (talking into phone): "Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar. ...Oh. I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. My mistake. ...That was a woman I was talking to. She has a very low voice. Probably a smoker."

-Dwight Schrute:  "Let me describe the perfect date: I take her out to a nice dinner. She looks amazing. Some guy tries to hit on her... now he wants to fight- so I grab him- I throw him into the jukebox! Then the other ninja's got a knife, he comes at me, we grapple, I turn his knife on him. Blood on the dance floor. She's scared now. I take her home. I'm holding her in my arms. I reach in for a kiss... I hear something in the leaves, I flip her around, she gets a poison arrow right in her back. She was in on it the whole time... but I knew."

-Dwight: Jim! This is not funny! Why is my stuff in here?" (sees nameplate and office supplies in vending machine)
Jim: "Oh, that's weird--dollar for a stapler though, that's pretty good."
Dwight: "Well I'm not paying for my own stuff. I know you did this because you're friends with the vending machine guy."
Jim: "Who? Steve?"

-(The episode where Jim dresses like Dwight)
Jim: "Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: "That's a ridiculous question."
Jim: "FALSE:  Black bear."
Dwight: "That's debatable. There's basically two schools of thought--"
Jim: Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."

-(The episode when Michael burns his foot on the George Forman grill):
Michael Scott: "Can I ask you all a question? Do you know what it’s like to be disabled?"
Phyllis: "I had scoliosis as a girl."
Michael Scott: "Never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman’s trouble."
Creed: "When I was a teenager, I was in an iron-lung."
Michael Scott: "What? How- how old are you? The point is: I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability. Although I am sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles."

-(From Diversity Day)
Michael Scott: "In the words of Abraham Lincoln, ‘If you are a racist, we will attack you with the North.’"
-(The episode where Jim moves Dwight's desk into the bathroom)


Dwight: "Where’s my desk?"
Jim: "Whoa, that is weird."
Dwight: "This is not funny. It's totally unprofessional."
Jim: "Hey, you're the one who lost a desk."
Dwight: "I didn't lose my desk."
Jim: "Calm down, where was the last place you saw it?"
Dwight: "Who moved my desk?"
Jim: "I think you should retrace your steps."

-(The episode where Michael considers jumping off the roof to show the dangers of depression)
Michael Scott: "An office is as safe as the people in it. And sometimes those people can drive you to do crazy things to show the dangers of the office. That's the danger I found myself in today. I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero? [pause] I really can't say, but yes."

-Michael Scott: "You spend your whole life trying to get people to like you and then you run over one person with your car. And it's not even one of the popular ones, and everybody gets on your case. Doesn't make any sense."

Glamourizing Bad Behavior, Criticizing Bad Behavior

In the L.A. Times last week, Enid Portuguez presented an interesting piece about the hit show Gossip Girl, in which the show's producer insisted that the show does not "glamorize" teen drinking or sex:

  “When people say the show glamorizes teen drinking and sex, they aren’t really watching the episodes,” said Savage. “Not all the characters drink or have sex, and when they do, it’s always put in a context. Behaviors are rooted in character. There’s decision-making, regret and consequences involved.”

For years, I've heard similar arguments about all kinds of different media and always heard similar language: "there's sex but it's not glamorized "there's drugs but it's not glamorized." I have not seen Gossip Girl nearly enough to judge one way or the other. But I think the phrase "it's not glamorized" can cover a multitude of sins. The larger question this article raises is, what do you specifically have to do to keep bad behavior from being glamourized?

Bad behavior is pretty common in our media. So here are five things you can do to make sure the role model's bad behavior is "not glamorized" in your movie:

(5) Kill the role model: This is the most obvious and perhaps the most effective deterrent. It subconsciously reminds us that death comes to people who do bad things. If you smoke weed, you're considerably more likely to be killed by a masked serial killer. In a horror flick and having an extra-marital affair with your best friend's husband in their dark basement bedroom? The killer is in the closet. You're both dead. Examples: Chris from Carrie. If you are having premarital sex with your boyfriend and pick on dorky girls, you may get your car telekinetically flipped and die brutally.

(4) Beat down the role model: Next most effective deterrent. If you do bad things, you're going to get seriously beat up. The reason this is effective is that the person can come dangerously close to #5 during the process. Examples: Edward in The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe -- You betrayed Narnia, so you're going to get kicked around by trolls, goblins and ice queens. Lucky for you your sister has a magic juice bottle to bring you back.

(3) Exile the role model: All the role model's friends stop spending time with her. The girlfriend dumps the male role model, perhaps screaming "you're just not person I used to love anymore!" It subconsciously reminds us that people don't like you if you do bad things. Examples: Michael in the Godfather -- If you become a mafia boss and begin killing off family members, your wife might not want to be married to you anymore. Also, Charlie from LOST. If you do heroin, your brother won't join a band with you, you'll crash on a mysterious island where even a bunch of outcasts won't want to hang with you.

(2) Jail the role model: The role model gets some time behind bars to think about what he did. Perhaps not the most efficient deterrent because now there is plenty of media out there that make jail look like a cake walk. This one can also include all sorts of legal action from restraining orders to community service. Examples: Barney in How I Met Your Mother. If you pee on the side of churches, you may end up working in a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving. Also, Jerry on Seinfeld. If you build an entire show on making fun of people, you probably will end up in prison at the show's finale.

(1) Punish the role model: This is the one seen most often and is probably the least effective. The role model does something wrong and then gets yelled at, grounded, etc. In teen shows, this only serves to further the myth of "evil adults don't want you to have fun." When the only consequence to bad actions is upset parents, we tend to think maybe it's the parents who are out of line. We tend more toward blaming parents especially when the parents themselves are depicted as having made their own bad choices. Example: Grace in The Secret Life of the American Teenager. If you date someone when your parents tell you not to, they might be upset with you...but they can still make a few witty jokes to lighten the mood before commercial break.

Are there other ways to make sure bad behavior isn't glamorized? Anyone have better examples?