A month left of "The Office! " That is far too close for comfort. In keeping with my tradition, I think necessary to take note of some of the great quotes of Office fame:
Red Cross woman: So, assessing the situation. are they breathing?
Michael Scott: No, Rose, they are not breathing. And, they have no arms or legs.
Red Cross woman: No that's not part of it.
Michael Scott: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Kevin: I would wanna live with no legs.
Michael Scott: How 'bout no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin, you don't do anything.
Rose: Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the
ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em.
Dwight Schrute: Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?
Rose: I have no idea.
Phyllis: We bury him.
Dwight Schrute: Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest.
Creed: He has no wallet, I checked.
Michael Scott: He is an organ donor.
Dwight Schrute: [excitedly] He is? Give me some ice in a Styrofoam
bucket. [removes a hunting knife from his ankle and cuts open the
dummy] We search for the organs! [digging around inside] Where's the
heart? The precious heart.
(After Michael runs over Meredith with his car)
Michael Scott: Spend your whole life trying to get people to like you and then you run over one person with your car. And it's not even one of the popular ones, and everybody gets on your case. Doesn't make any sense. God is dead.
Michael Scott: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower, sometimes I spend too much time volunteering; occasionally I'll hit someone with my car. So sue me. No, don't sue me. That's the opposite of the point that I am trying to make.
(Darryl is writing a song for the new Dunder Mifflin Commercial)
Michael: I was under the impression that this was going to be a rap.
Darryl: What's rap?
Michael: Okay, Darryl, wow. You need to learn alot about your culture. I'll make you a mix.
Dwight Schrute: Rule 17: don't turn your back on bears, men you
have wronged, or the dominant turkey during mating season. There are
forty rules all Schrute boys must learn before the age of five. [sings]
Learn your rules. You better learn your rules. If you don't, you'll be
eaten in your sleep. [makes chomping sound]
(Dwight and Andy prepare for a duel)
Dwight Schrute: What is your weapon?
Andy Bernard: My bare hands.
Dwight Schrute: That is stupid. I will use a sword and I will cut off your bare hands.
Michael Scott: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked, I enjoy being liked, I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
Dwight Schrute: I got a knock knock joke.
Michael Scott: No... God...
Dwight Schrute: Michael please! Please please. Please! Please let me.
Michael Scott: Alright.
Dwight Schrute: Knock knock.
Michael Scott: Who's there.
Dwight Schrute: KGB.
Michael Scott: KGB who-- [Dwight slaps Michael]
Dwight Schrute: [in "Russian" accent] We Will Ask The Questions!
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