Friday, August 21, 2009

100 Confessions: My Five LEAST favorite books

(67) My Five LEAST favorite books:

(1) Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard
Reason: This Pultizer-prize winning story captures the dichotomy of beauty and death. Dillard writes this in first person as she spends years recording what happens in nature If anyone cried as much as Annie Dillard in that story, they would be on anti-depressants. She could have a spiritual revelation while taking a dump.

(2) The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks
Reason: imagine reading Lord of the Rings if Tolkien was an awful writer and clearly ripping off other people's material. That's The Sword of Shannara.

(3) Eragon by Christopher Paolini
Reason: this is mainly principal. If you were a young aspiring fantasy writer, what would be your wet dream? Two parents in publishing. Paolini's wet dream was real. Both his parents were in publishing, and, we get the impression, kind of helped him through the process. Once it's finished, they have easy access to speaking engagements in schools, etc. to promote the book. And on a narrative note, the only author more derivative that Christopher Paolini is Terry Brooks.

(4) Living Dead in Dallas by Charlene Harris
Reason: After writing a blockbuster first novel Dead Until Dark, Charlene Harris writes a sequel that has none of the narrative mystery, flair or even sex appeal of the first book. Someone should tell her that there are other ways to bring sex appeal to book rather than actually having a sex scene every chapter. It's like 007 became a woman...and started sleeping with vampires. The sweet, innocent girl we fell in love with in Dead Until Dark kisses at least three different guys in this one and tries every position you can imagine in this one. And ones you can't really imagine. Because they're vampires.

(5) Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan
Reason: I know it's a harsh thing to say about the second-most read book of all time (next to the Bible), but I really did think the book is awful. I left Pilgrim's Progress really hating Christian, the main character. And more than that, I was furious at having "Christian" represent my religion. He was an a**hole. I left the book thinking that I'd rather be left outside the castle than spend my life walking on eggshells with that dude. I know, I know. It was a different time period, but hey, so was the Bible. I can still read that and think Jesus was chill.

1 comment:

Bryan said...

After reading your post, I re-read Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, specifically looking for any place where she cries. She doesn't cry at all! Are you sure you're not talking about a different book?