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Coming Soon: A Tale of Two Parties and Barely Legal

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback.

The Gopher is in the midst of job interviews and moving! Be patient, he'll be back with Greekvivor later in the week, but please feel free to leave any comments on "A Tale of Two Parties" or "Barely Legal" below...

No Campus for Old Rules

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this weeks episode.

At long last, we came to the climax of the story arc regarding the Greek restrictions. Finally, we'll be returning to the days of crazy Greek partys! We got to see more growth in Dale/Rusty relationship. It continues to be one of the more interesting relationships in the show in that they're both so different but really create a good balance for friendship as well. Also it was neat to see Evan and Cappie work together for something even if they weren't on the same side, it reminded us of what a great team they made in their freshman days.

But let's look at the standings!







-Missed study hours -2
-President bends rules to recruit her as wingman at Dobblers and basketball game +2
-Get's all "What you talkin' about Willis" with fellow Zeta Beta during airing out session. -1


Net Change: -1
Sum: 114







-Plays human bowling +1
-With Rusty +2
-And scores! +3
-Kappa Tau's win lottery for basketball finals +4
-But the tickets can't be released -4
-Oversaw sober peeing in Olympic pool. Hey better than drunk peeing. Everyone knows drunks have horrible aim. +1
-Uses sandwich lunch metaphor to argue for lifted campus restrictions, gets hungry for sandwich. Sandwich does sound good right now. +1
-Bestows nickname “Evanescence” +1
-Finds his own bra in closet with kilt and Native American headdress. +2
-Tag-teams professors with Evan, gets campus restrictions lifted! +10
-Front-row tickets released to Kappa Taus +4
-Drops pants at basketball halftime. Great footage for Cyprus-Rhodes Game Vision +1

Net Change: +26
Sum: 143







-Awesome iPod stereo +1
-Nepotistic presidential pardon for Ashleigh -2
-Totally backfires, earns her hatred of entire chapter -4
-What is she doing in the middle of a Cappie-Evan fight? She's not with either this time. -2
-Apologizes for pardon, frees everyone for the basketball game +2
-Doesn't notice Evan when she enters coffee shop, or at least fakes it really well +3
-Airing out session turns into a brawl -4
-Casey screams at Zeta Betas to scare them into submission. Ladies bow to her authority as top-rated in Greekvivor standings. +5
-Zeta Beta stuffed animal named "Pussy willow." I could make so many jokes, it's just not even worth the effort -1
-Pussy Willow gets scorched. Symbolic hat tip to the breaking of the conch in "Lord of the Flies." +3

Net Change: +1
Sum: 124








-Takes Rusty/Tina debate and turns it into USAG fighting point +2
-On USAG rebirth: “Resurrections rock, man” +1
-Reasoning for ending Greek life: “I’m savin' your peeps from eternal damnation." +1
-Solid speech to professorial body +5
-But won't stop talking -1
-Launches into three-point sermon on evils of Sadom and Gammorah, relates them to Greek life -2
-Sweats under armpits. Seriously man, wear an undershirt or use strong deoderant. Or don't speak in front of people. Ever. -1
-Recognizes defeat. Disbands USAG.-3
-Speech manages to make the jump to YouTube! +5

Net Change: +7
Sum: 94







-Writes talking points for Cappie +5
-Talking points thrown in his face. -6
-Does research on all the professors, pulls a "phone a friend" to get dirt +7
-Tag-teams professors with Cappie, gets campus restrictions lifted! +10

Net Change: +16
Sum: 86








-Tries to warn Casey of the dangers of a leadership apology +4
-Evan advises Casey to ask Frannie for advice +3
-Solid advice “You can’t show people where to go if you won’t step out in front” +5

Net Change: +12
Sum: 113








-Calls out Casey on roommate favoritism +1
-Encourages Rusty to have sex with Tina +3

Net Change: +4
Sum: 111







-Mauls ticket stand when tickets aren’t released +3
-Out shouts both USAG and Greek picket lines. +2
-Falls for the old "poop in fiery brown paper bag" -3

Net Change: +2
Sum: 107








-Used as human bowling ball -2
-Tina totally hot for him +3
-But dude, level three scary eyes. She's a freak with a clever "almost normal" disguise -1
-Scores date with Tina +5
-…But loses it after Kappa Tau’s tickets aren't released -5
-Room taken over by Dale’s USAG -3
-Brings Tina a malt. Nails her. +5


Net Change: +2
Sum: 86


Only three more episodes left in the season! Things are reaching cleanup time fast! Next week, look for the standard "party/bad decision" episode.

Cappie (143)+26
Casey (124)+1
Ashleigh (114)-1
Calvin (114)N/A
Frannie (113)+12
Rebecca (111)+4
Beaver (107)+2
Dale (94)+7
Rusty (86)+2
Evan (86)+16

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

GopherLink! The Prettier Than Napoleon Blog is done by a relative of my wife. Check her out.

Ten Coolest Movies Scenes

#7- Car Chase in "Gone in 60 Seconds"

The movie as a whole throws you through a loop. A bad guy does bad things and gets in trouble with bad people. Then a reformed bad guy (Randall Raines, aka. Nicholas "I can't really act" Cage) becomes bad again to save the aforementioned bad guy from bad people. And we're supposed to cheer for him...why?

But we do when this chase scene begins. Somehow we just want Randall to get away with stealing the frickin' awesome '67 Ford Mustang (a rare Shelby custom). And of course, it's totally tricked out with nitro, drives like a dream with it's brandnew tires and luckily came equipped with a never-ending tank of gas. Sidebar: I have '67 Ford Mustang with a 289 engine rather than the at-least 350 that thing was sporting. And it spewed gas like lactose-intolerant kid after four scoops of ice cream.

After watching this scene, you'd better believe I got into my '67 Ford Mustang (a standard coupe, not a Shelby--we can't be too picky when living out our fantasys), and blasted . When I got on the highway, I had that thing riding high in the RPM, trying to recreate the awesome growling "Elenor" makes in the scene.

Nope didn't get pulled over. I guess I'd learned how to escape the cops too.

Oh and look here

Mr. Purr-fect

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this weeks episode.

The episode last night was a decent addition into the season. I think more than anything it served to show how relationships have developed: Rusty/Cappie, Rebecca/Cappie, Casey/Evan and even Ashleigh/Calvin. In the meantime, in keeping with Greek's style, the writers made the episode about finding "Mr. Purr-fect." Although Casey seems to find her Mr. Perfect, Evan buys him off, which doesn't seem to be the mark of a good suitor. Additionally, Calvin finds himself a Michael. The only complaint Calvin is able to make is that the guy is too gay. (Never thought I'd hear that on prime time) Calvin also makes a very chin-stroking speech about the gay lifestyle that will definitely earn him some points.

Let's look at the standings!







-Successfully manages a gay matchmaking. +2
-Looks cute in cheerleader outfit. +2

Net Change: +4
Sum: 119







-Scores coffee date with Michael. +3
-Receives flowers at frat house. "No tulips? Forget it!" -1
-Speech: “Why does everything have to be about 'being gay' when you’re gay? You’re sexuality doesn’t define who you are.” Good point. I always give points for good thoughts. +3
-Realizes Michael may not be Mr. Perfect, but still sits through gay/lesbian short films with him and Ashleigh. He may be whining about the date, but I've heard of worse. +2

Net Change:+7
Sum: 114







-Has girlfriend from hell. Rebecca totally working over his Kappa Tau guys. -4
-Guys unwilling to tell him his girlfriend sucks. -2
-His little doesn't care enough about the confines of social society to keep him away from the knowledge of his significant other's malicious actions. +1
-Pretty lame Mr. Purr-fect act. He should have done karaoke. -2
-Ah-ha! He wanted to have a lame act. You showed them! +2
-Able to ream out Rebecca without being hit. +3
-Overturns Guy Code, reveals that brother is dating a prostitute. +5

Net Change:+3
Sum: 117







-Really knows how to coach Lambda Sig. Pat Riley in a woman's body. +3
-Shane totally digging her. +4
-Successful major change: “No longer majoring in Cappie or Evan.” I think everybody is just about over those two too. +4
-Scores teeter-totter kiss from Shane +3
-Called a Muse, invited for celebratory drink +5
-Offer reneged in favor of $1000. In all fairness, Shane could get two Playstation 3's with that kind of money. -5
-Wins bet. Lambda Sigs win the Zeta Beta Games. +7

Net Change: +21
Sum: 123







-Accepts friend invite, ready to start over with Casey +5
-Psych! Just wants a relationship, as evidenced by getting his jealousy on. -6
-Scores some major flirting from Frannie. Manages to be cool, manly and ignore it. +3
-Buys out Shane to keep Casey single. He really does have a future in politics. Following this line of reasoning, he could just buy Casey out and pimp her out like an escort service when he gets bored. Wow, he really is a politician. -10

Net Change: -8
Sum: 70








-Saucy statements getting Evan's attention: “You’re all wet.” Chambers Pimp Services, Inc. is hiring! +3
-Totally gets under Evan's skin...again. +3
-Has to clean Lambda Sigs bathroom -5

Net Change: +1
Sum: 101







-Has to ask Cappie for backup to get attention from Kappa Tau’s. I thought you were a senator's daughter. Come on, now. -3
-Knows how to piss off Kappa Tau’s. Completely alienates all the guys on the team. -6
-Totally put in her place by Cappie. -4
-Heartfelt apology and pizza win heart of all boys. +5
-Gets special pizza for Rusty. +4
-But it's the wrong kind. -1
-Loses bet. -5


Net Change: -10
Sum: 97







-Totally destroyed by Rebecca's coaching. -3
-Requests beer-in-mouth resuscitation. +3
-Tries to pass of Rusty’s anger on a postponed Isaac Newton passing. +2
-Almost became a Canadian citizen. What was he thinking? -1

Net Change:-1
Sum: 105







-Totally caught with the whole rolling eyes thing. -2
-Learns Guy Code. In his defense, he never really needed to learn since there haven't been a whole lot of girls knocking at Dale's door. +1
-Somehow manages to be whipped by his Big’s girlfriend. -3
-Breaks guy code due to emasculating treatment from Rebecca. +6
-Pretty lame act. -1
-But Cappie planned it that way +3
-Likes green peppers. -1

Net Change: +3
Sum: 84


Wow! And Casey's on top! There's been a lot of back and forth movement on the Greekvivor standings, but we have a couple of contenders routinely pushing their way forward. Cappie, Ashleigh, Calvin all are within striking distance, even Rebecca and Beaver!

Casey (123)+21
Cappie (117)+3
Ashleigh (115)+4
Calvin (114)+7
Rebecca (107)-3
Beaver (105)-1
Frannie (101)+1
Dale (87)N/A
Rusty (84)+3
Evan (70)-8

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

A Love Story

This isn't my usual hilarious "drop-on-the-floor-and-laugh" post. Today I have a story I want to share with you, and it's a love story. And it's not your typical love story.

This weekend, I went to a wedding for a close friend from high school, Sara. It was sort of unreal, being put at a table with all my old "lunch-table-buds" from high school after about six years had passed. The last time I'd talked with some of them, I getting ready to go to a college I wanted to transfer out of, I was very very single, and I had no idea what to do with my life (except be a hot doctor on ER). We all caught up as best we could and then she appeared, at the entrance in her white dress. The sight shook me up.

Looking back, Sara was the only girl really in my inner circle. To me, she was a sister, a mother and I think for all of us guys, we secretly loved her. Not, obviously in a Notebook kind of way. We'd watched her all throughout high school with the same guy, who was also in our inner circle. She was always devoted, always supportive. I can't remember a single instance when she was blatantly mean (and if there was one, I don't doubt we deserved it). What I think we all loved was the relationship she brought to the table. Every guy at that table with me would have killed to have a relationship with a girl like Sara had with Mike.

When we all went to college. We had an opportunity to find the girl that could fit that bill, without having to watch the (at times) sickeningly beautiful Sara-Mike relationship. My friend Andy, headed off to film school and met his Sara. My friend Nick went flight school and began emailing a girl from high school, who he'd met but never really known -- soon they were together as well. John headed to college, met a few different girls as I recall, but finally seems to be with his Sara. And me? Met her in an internship program. Everything I loved in the Sara-Mike relationship plus breakfast-in-bed some Saturdays, hours of joint video games and sitcom series viewing.

But the guy who walked down the aisle with Sara this weekend wasn't Mike. Unlike the rest of us who were hard-up in high school but lucky in college, Sara had the opposite experience. Where Mike could be funny in person (albeit a bit obnoxious), he became a bit mischievous when they went to different colleges. I don't know all of what happened, but I know Sara suffered a lot. At times when I saw her after high school, I could see the pain in her face, but she was too devoted to say anything against him. In the time since then, I've come to distaste Mike. He could be a real jerk, I suppose. If you'd asked any one of us, back in high school, which relationship would last, we would point to Mike and Sara. But for a relationship to truly last, I suppose it doesn't take a Sara and a Mike. It takes two Sara's, two people fully devoted to a relationship. But after four years of painfully trying to hold together a painful relationship, it finally ended.

But after that, Sara met Matt while helping at a middle school youth group. He was everything she loved about Mike, but more. He was spiritual, he was musical, he was fun, but most of all he was the kind of devoted guy she deserved. All of us were there at their wedding, except Mike of course. But it was okay. Sara looks so happy with him and I haven't heard a negative word about the man from anyone. He seems to be a man who really deserves her. I guess you could say, at long last, Sara found her own Sara.

Tales from Palm Beach: Sex and Jesus

At the end of each of my youth groups, the kids are sent into different groups (divided by age and gender) to talk about the weeks lesson. The days' lesson was your standard Church stuff: God being all-powerful, etc. I usually don't do this, but I figured I'd go ahead and listen in on the guys' discussion group. A good friend of mine was leading it and I wanted to hear how he was doing.

D-Group Leader: "I really liked what Greg had to say about how big God is. Have you ever watched one of those science programs on the size of the universe? It really is amazing how big they are!"
CJ: "I watched one that said you would live at least a thousand lifetimes before you even reached the next solar system."
Carl: "Did you know humans and dolphins are the only species on earth that enjoy sexual intercourse?"
(Silence)
D-Group Leader: "Wow...Alright, I think we can call it a day."

I was pretty hysterical and had to walk away from the door so I wouldn't give myself up. Good to know the kids are learning a lot.

47 Hours & 11 Minutes

Welcome to Greek-vivor! Every week, we review the week's Greek episode and, in a Survivor-style system, award points to the Greek students best making their way through the college outback. The section ahead contains spoilers for this weeks episode.

I beginning to feel like the show is dragging a little bit. Maybe that's just because it's hit mid-season, but I must admit I'm not feeling the week to week draw I was last season. But on the whole this episode fit solidly with the season. It was a Cartwright-centric episode, with no info whatsoever on the Omega Chi folks. We saw Casey well-up with tears, not once but twice! Besides drawing the eye of all male viewers, Spencer Grammer is actually a pretty good actress. I'm surprised we're not seeing her appear more frequently in front of the camera. She seems like a shoe-in for the next mindless "hot-girl-detective-solves-mysterious-murder-while-being freaked-out" flick. Heck if Paris Hilton can get killed in one, why not Spencer Grammer>

But let's look at the standings!







-Single significant appearance on the show manages to drag Casey into further disfavor with Casey's parents. No reason to get all cocky just because you're winning Greekvivor... -2

Net Change: -2
Sum: 115







-War metaphors extended to include parents weekend +1
-Shut down in meeting Rebecca’s father -3
-Receives lovestruck stare from Casey +2
-Call out Rebecca on using him +3
-Gets greasy burger apology. Actually sounds pretty good right now...+2

Net Change: +5
Sum: 114







-“This whole weekend is about you, little man” +1
-Casey bestows name for the episode "47 hours, 11 min."...Wait, Casey can do math? +1
-Hosting tea for senator. Receives national attention due to philandering, education-fund cutting politician. +3
-Managed to keep parents away from her own freshman weekend. +2
-Rescues Rusty from his own parents' weekend. +2
-Parents tramp down pretty hard on Casey. This whole comparing kids thing is Taboo according to the Cyprus Rhodes Psych. Department. -2
-Whoa, sticks up for Rebecca. Actually acts like president rather than vengeful wench. +2
-And gives love-struck stare at Cappie +2
-Ambushes Rusty with parents at Kappa Tau party. -15
-Gets parents approval. +10
-Gets watery eyes twice in one episode: once when Rusty stands up for her, another when mother admits she sees value in Casey. +10


Net Change: +16
Sum: 102








-Mother calls him "sugar toast" -3
-...and "tatter tot" -3
-...and force him to walk through his daily routine -2
-...and watch Passion of Christ while Dale hides outside his room. Luckily, Rusty shows up in time to give Dale advice which is really only for Rusty. I swear, this show becomes more like Gray's Anatomy everyday...-2

Net Change: -10
Sum: 87








-Hasn't even moved in the papason chair, but already trying to take over ZBZ. -3

Net Change: -3
Sum: 100








-Shuts down Cappie on meeting the folks -2
-Mother doesn’t show to parent's weekend -2
-...because her father having an affair -2
-...again -2
-Introduces Cappie to her father +3
-...but just to piss off father -3
-Downs cheetos like nobodies business. Keep her away from my chip-and-dip. +1
-Decent apology. A 4.0 on the 5-point Oprah Winfrey scale of apologies. +5


Net Change: -3
Sum: 107







-Actually named "Charles" +1

Net Change: +1
Sum: 106








-Misses plea for war in Cappie rhetoric. Tries cleaning up, when the pledge brothers are all for flying their flags. -1
-Told parents KTG was a service organization. That's 5-pointer on the 5-point Casey Cartwright scale of dirty lies +3
-Dale’s parents treat him like heathen -2
-Says fraternity is closed because boys are out of town in Mexico. They actually go for it. Another 5-pointer! +3
-Reason for nickname Spitter: "I spit on injustice” +1
-Kappa Tau’s become Amelia Bedalias. Cleanup house and even adopt service ideal +2
-Gives Casey credit in teaching him how to lie. I would have taken away points if he didn't. Good call, Spitter. +2
-Parent Ambush! -5
-When his brothers are drinking! -5
-And he's dressed as a French maid! -5
-Gives good pep talk to Dale +5
-...Which Dale ignores -1
-Stands up to parents for Casey, demands menu +15

Net Change: +12
Sum: 81

All in all an interesting week. Next week, we look to have the Greek Games including a Mr. Purr-fect competition. Look to meet Casey's new love interest in the next one. I must say, Casey doesn't do as well when she's got a boy to use and abuse, this might not work out in her best Greekvivor interests.


Ashleigh (115)-2
Cappie (114)+5
Rebecca (107)-3
Calvin (107)N/A
Beaver (106)+1
Casey (102)+16
Frannie (100)-3
Dale (87)-10
Rusty (81)+12
Evan (78)N/A

Thanks for reading! See you next week!

Tales from Palm Beach: The Lost Ark

So last Friday, during our youth program, we studied the Ten Commandments. Obviously, this raises questions of the notorious Ark of the Covenant, which held the Ten Commandments. I received a question from one of kids: "Where is the Ark now?"

In a regular youth group: "No one knows. After the Babylonian conquest of Israel, all record of the Ark was lost. Many say it ended up in the Egyptian city of Tanis which was swallowed by a sandstorm. Some speculate it ended up in Ethiopia or Egypt, and some even say the Knights Templar took it to France."

In my youth group: "It's currently hidden in a government warehouse in Washington, D.C. following Indiana Jones's rescue of the treasure from the Nazi regime."

Chuckling broke out across the room. There were a few confused faces -- Sometimes I forget that they weren't raised in the 80s.

Tales from Palm Beach: Divorce Mediation

Now that I'm preparing to leave my little Palm Beach Church, I think it necessary to include the things that I will not miss when I'm gone. I will certainly not miss mediating divorces. For some reason, some parents are led to think that I, as a youth director, should be a part of their divorce just because they have a Church-group child. In the past, I have been blind-copied (that's the "bcc" line in your emails for those not tech savvy)numerous scream letters between parents where both are accusing each other of not looking out for the child's best interests, etc.

At one point, I was even sent the legal terms of the custody agreement. I suppose it was sent just in case I needed some light-reading for the evening, or perhaps just want to go ahead and contact the judge on his behalf so I could rant about the mother. I really don't know what he was hoping to happen.

But one family in particular has crossed the hallowed line of "appropriateness" far to often. After repeatedly asking the parents to please leave me out of their divorce, I got yet another email yesterday. Since I have been quite clear that I have not interest in mediating their divorce, I can only assume he would like me to include it on my blog! While not deserved on their part, I've changed their names. Here it is:

Jen:
you did not send me an email on Wm.'s trip to Atlanta as you claim... these are permanent records and you should be able to produce same in court.
I was waiting, just now, for him at school as scheduled every Wednesday during the school year. This is not the first time you have pulled this childish stunt. Your voice mail was at 10:06 PM last night and not received by me until now; Your claim that it is not your responsibility to ensure that I know in time and that you did your part is a hollow, mean spirited claim and is aimed at harassing your son's father and ex-spouse rather than being pro-active. You are out of control. IT IS THE CHILD WHO ULTIMATELY SUFFERS WHEN PARENTS DO NOT ACT RESPONSIBLY. He will soon be of age and time is short. Your manipulations are obvious to everyone.You know full well that on those occasions when you need something you always reach me at work or home. Common courtesy and common sense at some point must prevail. Your thin disguise is not acceptable and will only make a bad situation worse. poor William.
Ted