(13) I once worked a summer selling womens shoes at Dillards. I was the guy forced to creep up on the ladies trying on shoes and forced to ask "can I help you with something?"--a subtle reminder that "hey I work on commission and you're not getting out of here with those Nine West until you let me fetch a couple pairs of shoes for you."
I had some serious adventures while I was there. There was the guy who figured out how to put on a woman's shoe at just the right angle so he could see up her dress. He'd come to the back and bark "thong" occasionally. There was also the former stripper I worked with who was very successful at selling shoes to men for their wives (although I'm convinced that not all the wives were excited to receive six-inch heels).
Somehow I mostly ended up with the old ladies. There was one woman who asked for an open-toe shoe who had toes crossed over each other and look so mangled that they may as well have been through a lawnmower. On that occasion, I remember I actually asked, "Ma'am are you SURE you want an open-toe shoe?" Another time I was putting a shoe on for a woman and while I was putting it on she asked, "Could you rub my bunion while you're down there?" I said no.
Occasionally, I would get to work with a young person though. One time an attractive young lady came in (yes there was flirting) looking for shoes. We looked at a bunch of shoes she wanted to see, but she was becoming frustrated and said, "I really looking for something sexy."
So I asked the question, "So is this for a girl's night out, a party--"
"Church," she said. I tried not show my surprise, but she continued naturally, "I'm in the choir and I have to wear a choir robe."
"So people aren't going to be listening to your voice, they'll be looking at your shoes?"
"Of course."
The upside of my time at Dillards is that I can start stories by saying "While I was working at Dillards selling Womens shoes..."
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